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Monday, 28 November 2016

this is my writting

I wasn’t sure what was in the box, but there was no way to open it with no key. So I went on an adventure through the forest lake and rivers I went through the forest with my heart beating like a alarm clock going off .There was moans and groans all through the forest with colossal sized snakes hissing. Then I saw the biggest tree I have ever seen with the treasure chest key on it. But there was the king of the jungle walking around it was a  lion. I got my gun and shot in to the air but he would not move. So I went closer and it was only a hologram .Then I stood forward without thinking of traps. So I fling up into the air I cut the rope I was hanging from. Then I got the key I went back to open the chest and it was another key in the treasure chest.    

3 comments:

  1. A great piece of writing! Well done Caleb!

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  2. Caleb, this is really good. You are describing a lot of really cool images and feelings in this piece of writing. I wonder if there is another way to start your last sentence, rather than with the word 'then'. Just because you had already used it two sentences before that and you want your last sentence to be powerful. I very much enjoyed reading this.

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